Searching for Success
What I’ve learned so far from operating networks ... part 1 of … who knows 🤷🏻♂️
Overview
This will be the first of many posts in a series for the topic of Searching for Success: What I’ve Learned From Operating Networks.
Some of the elements below touch on mental health and wellbeing, and I want to be clear at the start I’ve not done any training or classes on the subject ... etc., and therefore I’m only speaking from my own personal experiences (also see Disclaimer).
A lot of the information discussed below is designed to be generic and the start of a mental framework, and thus it not meant to be a one size fits all.
So please use it as intended for your own path; a framework. And if you need additional help, please seek it.
“Why do we fall down? So we can learn to get back up again”
Alfred Pennyworth, Batman the Dark Knight
The following material and thoughts are my own and not that of any employer either current or previous. If I’ve references or quoted someone or something I will let you know and have left links in the notes.
“Strap on your skates Gordie, you’re going in”
Bart Simpson, “Bart the Lover”. Season 3 / Episode 16 (14:32)
Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin
The reason for me writing this material is to document the initial beginnings of my own journey into dealing with conflict, failure, stress and pressure, both personally and whilst operating a telecommunications network, then trying to balance the two. Hopefully this will be a living document as I learn more throughout my journey. And give one touch point for people to add their own insights and references.
I write this from the perspective of a predominantly blue-green personality (with a flare for yellow, apparently now an ambitvert, rather than introvert or extrovert), and so not all of the examples in this article will resonate with everyone. I have tried my best to offer as wide-ranging examples as possible, and so some of them have become generalised to make sure my point(s) are clear.
Let’s start with the foundations
Starting at the deep-end for a moment, in a earlier paragraph I referred to myself as a blue-green personality, so what do I mean by that?
The personality traits come from the DISC theory and assessments created by William Moulton Marston. It was originally created as a tool to predict job performance, however it has wider reaching capabilities. The DISC theory was adapted by Thomas Erikson to make DISA, which looks at the blue personality as being more analytical, rather than compliant.
There is also the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) if you would like to take on further reading.
So as a predominately blue-green, I like detail, process, structure, repeating patterns and improving on the status quo. I also like to be helpful to others (hence writing this), I can be patient, enjoy routine, and until recently, was focused on (to the point of distraction at times) pleasing and appeasing others.
So for me, what’s changed? As I said before, I was a little too green in my approach to relationships, (pleasing and appeasing others) especially with authority figures and seniors, so I moved to focus on my strengths and look for my weaknesses. In doing this, I started to realise that I had a flare for yellow, and as my confidence has grown even public speaking (once completely out of bounds) has become a little more friendly … I even have a little buzz for it (as long as it's a topic I know and have a reasonable understanding of).
“With great power comes great responsibility”
Uncle Ben Spider-Man
Therefore, I’ve realised more and more that a person can benefit from stretching themselves, even if its a learnt behaviour rather than a trait.
Setting the scene for things to come
Things won’t change over night, and they’re not going to change unless you want them to and therefore make them change. The hardest part is ‘taking the first step’, and that step can be different for everyone. What I have learnt on my journey so far is that not everyone’s path(s) start at the same point, and like a maze there’s a few dead ends, u-turns and in some cases walls/fences to climb over to find the next track/path to take you to your next calling point.
As the old saying goes:
“Life is not a sprint, it’s a marathon”
Source unknown
Try as many things as you can, however learn to fail fast. That doesn't however mean rushing into things, and jumping around without direction, it just means start a clear destination, and try everything that's reasonable in getting to said destination.
The Japanese have a system; Kiazen. It was successfully adopted by Toyota in their production systems:
Whilst not possible for everyone, as not everyone has the same level of support, working towards good mental health and wellbeing rather than pushing oneself in “the grind” (to burn out), will be a better investment in the long term. Therefore, I would advocate:
Trying to get some regular exercise.
Taking time for yourself:
Mindfulness.
Rest.
Never be afraid to talk or reach out.
Start trying to be ok, with not being ok.
The key is getting to know yourself. These don’t have to be all or nothing approaches or a sudden investment of massive amounts of your time.
Unless urgent action is needed, little and often is usually the best approach. However you can set the pace for both the positive and the negative things in your life.
“It’s good to talk”
Bob Hoskins, BT Friends and Family advert